Grey

The weekend went great. Everything about it was good and I look back on it and am glad for every bit. But coming off of such a busy weekend certainly put me in the wrong sorts this morning. I did not find joy in the sunrise or my coffee, and when I went to feed Steve hoping to be cheered by his vivaciousness and sweetness I realized that I only had enough formula to give him half of what he normally eats. My heart was even more deeply saddened to see him searching hungrily for another bottle when I had none to give him. My poor baby.
Today was also my first day of school, and though I left my house with confidence, as I came nearer to the building I began to feel anxious. The huge traffic jam right before the parking deck didn't help my mood. I was three minutes late and trying to think of some way to walk into the classroom gracefully. Well I got there, opened the door and saw that the lights were out and it was empty. Confused, I headed to the lounge area where I saw one of the ladies from my class and it dawned on me that class today starts at 9, tomorrow it starts at 8. Bummer. I sat down with her for awhile and watched her as she studied out of her super organized, fully prepared materials and felt bad for my total lack of preparation for this semester. I hadn't even gotten my books yet! So if that is any indication with how the rest of my scholastic day went then you are on the right track.
After school went better. I met mom to get some milk replacer for Steve, and spent the rest of the afternoon printing things off for tomorrow and praying that my books come in.
This evening was the ICC young group's beginning of the year meeting so I went to that, though I would have rather enjoyed the nice weather. It turned out to be a good evening. I got to see alot of people that I hadn't seen in a long time and meet some new ones. They talked about how they run things with the ICC Bible studies, church rotation, and such. At least this is one thing I'll be on top of. The fellowship and general mood of the evening totally made up for my bad day.
On the way home I was singing loud with wcic blaring out my windows, happily oblivious to anything unhappy. As I came up to Duebits feed store near Hanna City I was shocked to see the most offensive bumper sticker on the beat up truck in front of me. As he turned left and I set my blinker to turn right I saw that the man actually stuck his hand out the window in an incredibly rude gesture to me. I had done him no harm, my music wasn't even loud enough for him to hear. The song that came on next was about God reaching down into this dark world and how at times it feels like He is so far away. I cried just thinking about how truly dark the world is. It was well into the night, and though the moon was full, after that man did what he did I felt like I was drowning in a sickeningly black place and that God was way up there with the moon and stars. Where is God when people are so darkened, how could He even look upon this world.  I think about how women are sold for their bodies in some countries and children are made to fight in armies before they can recite the abc's and about how, in our own country, anger and hatred is a disease that lies so thick upon people that they don't even know what love is any more. I hate to say it, but my day began a little gloomy and is ending tragically. I don't know if I can sleep tonight knowing how terrible the world I live in is. I am reminded of Romans 12:21 "Do not be overcome by evil; but overcome evil with good." and I pray that God would come down tonight and touch lives and right wrongs. What a mighty God we serve.